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pfunck
11 July 2007 @ 11:19 pm
I was playing volleyball at an open gym the other night. This guy walks in, he's wearing some frickin athletic goggles or something. He's got knee pads that look high tech and they covered half his legs. He's got on some fresh Jordans and he's sporting the wife beater.
He walks on the court, and calls out for the score. Our team is down by two. He takes approximately 45 seconds to get ready for his serve, swinging at an imaginary ball and warming up his shoulder. He tosses the ball, steps into his serve and WHAM! The ball goes way up, hits the ceiling, ricochets off a basketball rim and bounces back right to where he was standing. He slams the ball into the ground and yells that the ball is too hard.
Later, he's playing front row, goes up to block a ball and whiffs and gets all caught up in the net. He curses very loudly and throws the ball into the net. Afterwards he says "My bad…. My bad…" Same thing happens the next play. He asks if the net is too low. I tell him its in the same place it was when he ran into the net the first time. He gives liturgy about how young people are disrespectful, grabs his bag and leaves.
And this guy was just the most intense guy you ever met. As if Will Ferrel was doing a sketch as a volleyball player. Yeah. He was that intense. Everyone around me was laughing their asses off. So was I, to an extent, but I was rather pensive. This guy was so overwhelmingly saturated with the belief that he was a great volleyball player. Nothing or nobody could convince him otherwise. And I thought to myself, 'This guy is for real. I wonder how many other people are out there like him?' I wonder how many people there are who are convinced that they are doing the right thing, when they are just so far off the boat. And when people disagree with the person, it strengthens them. They want to prove everyone wrong and be that "great and fearless leader." Personally, if everyone around me thinks I'm doing something wrong, I'll at least take a step back and try and look at the situation. Being a "great and fearless leader" just sounds like you're being arrogant.
Current Music: White Collar Boy by Belle and Sebastian
11 July 2007 @ 03:17 pm
I like to think about times when I've been happiest. And when
I start to recollect the memories that I feel are most precious in my
life, I instantaneously realize how hard it is to pull these memories out of the
box that seems to be hidden in the furthest reaches of my mind. After
timeless moments of contemplation I also realize how much more
often I think about what is bad in my life instead of thinking about what is good.
When something is wrong I isolate what I believe to be the cause of the
problem and I put this unbelievable amount of pressure on myself to explore
all aspects of the cause to the problem. It's so much pressure that I can't think
about anything else. The hard part about it all is that I do this so often. At the
crux of the problem is this: When I become preoccupied I become a horrible
decision maker consequent to me feeling awful in the first place. So, why am
I so quick to blame? Why is it that the bad things in my life consume and engulf
me in an endless wave of frustration. It jars me and unnerves my very being.
So I'm making a pact with myself. The next time something shitty happens to
me, I'm gonna try to stop myself from going through the natural thought process
I would normally go through, and I'm gonna breathe. I will think about
something pleasant. I will perhaps eat a tasty snack or two. And then
I'm gonna revisit the issue at hand and make the appropriate
decisions to resolve my present disposition.
Curly Fries:
All the times I watched my mom outeat everyone at the table. She's 4'11".
Living with my brother and Rachel in Portland.
Living in 1920 sawtelle.
Summer camp '05 at Step by Step.
Giggle attacks with DiDi.
Lincoln Center and the Madrigals.
Mitch and the red car.
Bundy and Starcraft
Kiss Me, Kate...
Erica and I watching everyone jump in the pool.
Midnight phone conversations with Nikki...
Out on the Porch at Anne and Steve's
MTW.
DotA at CC.
Volleyball with Swarz and the boys.
Aaron in Portland.
Texts with Nadilly
Post-it notes in my mailbox at Step by Step.
Il Tram till 4AM.
Hookah at lunch with Oren.
There. Now I won't forget.
I start to recollect the memories that I feel are most precious in my
life, I instantaneously realize how hard it is to pull these memories out of the
box that seems to be hidden in the furthest reaches of my mind. After
timeless moments of contemplation I also realize how much more
often I think about what is bad in my life instead of thinking about what is good.
When something is wrong I isolate what I believe to be the cause of the
problem and I put this unbelievable amount of pressure on myself to explore
all aspects of the cause to the problem. It's so much pressure that I can't think
about anything else. The hard part about it all is that I do this so often. At the
crux of the problem is this: When I become preoccupied I become a horrible
decision maker consequent to me feeling awful in the first place. So, why am
I so quick to blame? Why is it that the bad things in my life consume and engulf
me in an endless wave of frustration. It jars me and unnerves my very being.
So I'm making a pact with myself. The next time something shitty happens to
me, I'm gonna try to stop myself from going through the natural thought process
I would normally go through, and I'm gonna breathe. I will think about
something pleasant. I will perhaps eat a tasty snack or two. And then
I'm gonna revisit the issue at hand and make the appropriate
decisions to resolve my present disposition.
Curly Fries:
All the times I watched my mom outeat everyone at the table. She's 4'11".
Living with my brother and Rachel in Portland.
Living in 1920 sawtelle.
Summer camp '05 at Step by Step.
Giggle attacks with DiDi.
Lincoln Center and the Madrigals.
Mitch and the red car.
Bundy and Starcraft
Kiss Me, Kate...
Erica and I watching everyone jump in the pool.
Midnight phone conversations with Nikki...
Out on the Porch at Anne and Steve's
MTW.
DotA at CC.
Volleyball with Swarz and the boys.
Aaron in Portland.
Texts with Nadilly
Post-it notes in my mailbox at Step by Step.
Il Tram till 4AM.
Hookah at lunch with Oren.
There. Now I won't forget.
happy